There is just no reaction to this movie that doesn't start with "What the...?" First off, notice the movie poster on the right. What the heck made me think this was my kind of movie? Skulls, blood and a raven....normally not indicative of a romantic comedy.
Next, what the heck were the Hollywood-types thinking when they advertised this as starring Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwartzenegger, and Bruce Willis? Arnold and Bruce were both on screen for about a minute and a half. (However, they did contribute the only genuinely humerous lines of the entire movie.) Granted, movies starring any of these men are not usually light and fluffy, but somehow the clip I saw made me think that, since these men are getting older, they are now kinder, gentler action heroes. I'm pretty sure the intention of the ad campaign was to lure women like me into ignoring the skulls, the blood and the raven.
Third, and the most serious of my questions, is "What the heck went wrong in our eighteen years of parenting our beautiful daughter to make her think this bloodbath qualified as "a good movie"? "Oh yeah, Mom, I saw that a couple weeks ago. It's really good. You should go." This is the same girl who frequently rewatches The Notebook, who owns the entire Love Comes Softly series, who's life is drenched in all things pink. What the.....?
Finally, what the heck made my darling husband feel that exploding, punctured and/or mangled bodies are funny? Evidently I missed the rib-tickling moments while I was avoiding vomiting by staring at my shoes. Dave would bust out in uproarious laughter, but when I looked up there was nothing on screen but explosions and flying body parts. The comedy scenes must have been quick! Even the reviewers saw the humor that I missed: "The Expendables" is action–packed, laugh–out–loud funny and altogether watchable. (nwitimes.com) - There are multiple quotes that will have you chuckling as men bleed to death on the floor. (blhsnews.com) I just didn't see it.
I suppose my attendance at this gore-fest was only fair since Dave has attended many "chick flicks" and animated films at my request, but I still find myself shaking my head and muttering "What the....?"