Monday, August 29, 2011

Phone Rage

Can anyone explain to me why getting a new cell phone requires advanced degrees in quantum physics, calculus and anger management?  The formula for replacing a phone looks something like this:
$\displaystyle \int\displaystyle \frac{x\,dx}{\displaystyle \sqrt{ax^{\displayst...
...tyle \int\displaystyle \frac{dx}{\displaystyle \sqrt{ax^{\displaystyle2}+bx+c}}$
where a = the number of stupid questions the automated answering machine asks before you get to talk to a real person; b = the number of "free" upgrades teens have used, extending our contract into the year 2037; c = the number of mere minutes before the current "gotta have it" phone is outdated; d = the number of "authorized dealers" you must visit before finding one who is actually authorized to do anything; and x is just some random number that you must guess correctly on the first try in order to be allowed to JUST BUY A FREAKING PHONE!  

Otherwise, I'm fine.  How was your day?


  1. When I finally got my own cell phone (just two years ago) it took four LONG months to get it working according to all I had paid for. I love your formula and hilarious post. It will get better...I promise.

  2. That is so funny, Tami! And, sadly, so true!

  3. LOL LOL >> it's just like trying to decipher our combine: phone, internet and cable bill. too funny Tami

  4. That's why I still have my current regular phone however I am ready for a keyboard one because I text more!