Thursday, September 1, 2011

Put Me In, Coach!

A few weeks ago, our daughter Amanda told a friend who had expressed some confusion at life - as we all have done - "I'm sure my mom would be willing to talk to you, if you want. It's what she does - she fixes people's lives."

Which led me to think, "Maybe I have a gift for this.  Maybe this is my new career.  Maybe the wisdom of my years could be used to help others who are where I have been.  Maybe I should become [insert fanfare] . . . a Life Coach. (Stop laughing!)  So I did a little research (research = Google) into what, exactly, a life coach does.  From my detailed analysis involving over one web-site, I learned the following:

  • You do not need to know, nor employ, the basic rules of grammar in order to be a life coach.
  • A life coach isn't, necessarily, fully prepared to do his/her job.  The comprehensive education required for this field can be accomplished in sixteen hours (not credit hours, hours) for less than $400.
  • A life coach doesn't actually have the answers to life's questions, but he/she can dance a little side-step* by using lines such as "I believe that you know the answers to every question or challenge you may have in your life.  I simply empower you to find those answers within yourself."  
  • Life coaches "motivate" and "give confidence boosts"
  • Life coaches are fond of vague, ambiguous phrases.
  • There is actually a national convention of life coaches . . . seriously! 
But the light bulb finally came on when I read this description:
Life coaches "deal with relatively healthy people who want to improve their lives in specific ways, such as changing careers, finding a healthy relationship, losing weight, or deepening their self-understanding.  They deal with stress management, time management, and goal setting to help their clients lead more balanced lives that better reflect the client's personal values and priorities."
Then I knew - It's not that I have a "gift" for fixing lives, or special qualities that would guarantee my success.  The reason I'm so well-qualified for this job is because I, along with millions of other women, have been doing it for years.  "Life Coach" is just the new-age name for Mom.

*Bonus points if you can name the movie which included the song "Dance A Little Sidestep".  Double your points if you can also name title/artist of the song featured in the title of this post.
** Since I am making fun of their content, I have graciously excluded the names of the actual web-sites from which I took the above statements.  If you happen to be a copyright attorney or some such thing, the information is available on  request.  But does your client seriously want people to know that they wrote this drivel?


  1. Haha, excellent!!

    I must say that these days everyone seems to be a coach (whether it's 'life' or 'executive' or...).