Friday, February 6, 2015

Life Under Construction: Independence

Independence:  freedom from control or influence
Independence:  freedom from support or aid

Every teenager dreams of independence - freedom from parental control.  Parents dream of the day their children become financially independent.   As I begin this new chapter of life, as empty-nester and partner with my husband in our new business, I am faced with another kind of independence - independence from immediate access. 

For the last ten years, we have both worked at jobs that were predominantly desk time, and allowed us to communicate by Instant Messenger or text.  Any time during business hours that I had an emergency, a question, information to relay, or saw something funny on the internet, I could tell Dave nearly as easily as if he were in the same room.

Not so in the construction business.  During the building season (April-November - give or take) he is on a job site as a hands-on member of the construction crew, which doesn't leave a hand free for conversational texting.  During the "off season" he is attending trade shows, visiting customers, working in the shop and generally not being accessible.  

Not that I have always had instant access to my husband.  I was a stay-at-home mom in the years before cell phones and home computers.  There were many long, long days when I handled the household, the finances, and children who wanted their daddy, who was working late.  But I tended to be a needy mess by the time he walked in.  

The "second-half me" refuses to fall back into that routine, so the goal is to build an independent life that includes Dave and the kids, but is not dependent on them. Thirty-two years of caring for others make that harder than it sounds.  It's been a long time since life was about me.  I don't mean that to sound like a diva - "it's all about me" - but I need to fill my days with my own interests, plans and missions.   

Now, all I need are interests, plans and missions.  

(Part II - "Finding Balance" - coming soon.)

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you have a good plan worked out. I have found that I've become lazy and boy do I need a plan! I do enjoy going to the show by myself which I love. Maybe head out to a museum!