Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4
When I read that verse a few days ago, it stuck in my head. I kept tossing the words around in my head. I've read those words many times, but never stopped to ask myself, "What ARE the desires of my heart."
Without getting into a theological discussion of what it means to "delight in the Lord", or the context of the Psalm, my answer would be that my heart desires a time machine. I don't care if it's a Delorean with flux capacitor, Dr. Who's TARDIS or just a swirling hole in the space-time continuum - I desire to go back in time.
Back to when my best friend had not succumbed to cancer; back to before my parents became categorized as "aging"; back to when there was a world of possibility before us; and, most of all, back to when two toddlers depended on me. Back to Lincoln Logs on the living room floor, sticky kisses on my cheek, and the fifth viewing of Winnie-the-Pooh and the Blustery Day in a row.
You may have guessed, but I'm feeling a bit nostalgic these days. In one month, Mitch and Amanda will both graduate from college. In three months, Mitch will get married. Their lives are filled with questions about where to live and where to work - that great big world of possibilities. And it's amazing to watch them! I can't begin to say how proud I am of the people they have become.
But I miss the people they used to be. Not the moody, rebellious teenagers - don't think I'll ever miss them - but the adorable little creatures that climbed on my lap to read a book or napped on my shoulder.
But, you know - if you had asked that young mom what her heart desired, she probably would have answered, "Time for reading or sewing, a bit of privacy, and to never have to tie shoes again." Hmm...that sounds an awful lot like my life now. Maybe some hearts are never satisfied.